


"I Lost Our Baby."

by hswrites



Series: Daddy Nick Drabbles [1]
Category: Nick Kroll - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Fatherhood, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-23 21:15:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20226235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hswrites/pseuds/hswrites
Summary: A sleep deprived Daddy Nick loses track of his daughterY/B/N stands for “your baby’s name”-This is part of a series of oneshots following Nick's adventures in fatherhood. They won't be in order; I'll be writing and posting as ideas come to me--feel free to send me prompts!!





	"I Lost Our Baby."

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: these drabbles are works of fiction, and all characters are original fictional characters, though Nick bears the likeness of Nick Kroll. His character is based on my perception of how he would behave in these situations.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh fuck. _Fuck_.” Nick paced back and forth in the upstairs hallway, fingers tugging through his hair, sweat soaking into his shirt. “She’s gonna fucking kill me, oh god.”

Each room of the house had been torn through: blankets shaken out, laundry rummaged through, closet doors and kitchen cabinets thrown open with a bang, shower curtains pulled back so hastily they’d fallen with their rods, couch cushions and pillows tossed onto the floor haphazardly. Though he was still a little bleary-eyed from his nap, he was certain he did not see his infant daughter anywhere he searched.

When he first awoke from the nap they were taking together, he was pleased not to hear her crying, assuming she was still asleep. That feeling didn’t last very long, however, as he quickly realized she wasn’t in her crib, or the bedroom at all, for that matter.

This wasn’t his first time staying home alone with his nine-month-old daughter, honest, but it felt like one of the worst-case scenarios of that situation was unfolding. Nick was more than qualified to look after her, but he was also more sleep deprived than usual today; she had been up 3 times the night before. He tended to her each time, giving Y/N a break since she had an early start ahead of her and he would be home all day.

The second time Y/B/N woke up was half past 2 am, which to her was playtime, as she’d established starting two nights earlier. Nick tried to get her to settle down right away—he really did—but he couldn’t resist her bright eyes, dimpled grin, and lively drool-gurgling squeal and decided to entertain her for a while first. He was already Soft, but that little girl made him melt.

When she went down for her afternoon nap 12 hours later, he happily welcomed the opportunity to catch up on sleep himself, but he was deeply regretting both decisions now.

_How the hell did this happen?_ He asked himself. “Baby giiiiirl,” his voice cracked from the anxiety as he called out again to the empty house, hoping he would hear a burble in reply, but he never did. “Come on sweetheart, daddy doesn’t wanna play hide-and-seek anymore.” They had recently started playing the game with Y/B/N beginning to crawl faster.

He put a hand to his chest, feeling his heart beating fiercely against his ribs as if trying to escape—he could hear it in his ears too—then he put it over his mouth, trying to calm down enough to regroup. _‘Deep breath.’ That’s what Y/N would say. ‘You’re useless if you’re panicked.’_ He inhaled through his nose, held it for a few seconds, then exhaled slowly. _Okay. It’s okay, I got this. She’s okay. _

He stood silently for a moment, trying to make sense of it all, then dropped his head into his hands, shaking it in disbelief. “Oh, who am I kidding? I’m fucked. **_I lost our baby_**. My wife is never going to let me watch my own child by myself ever again.” Nick was spinning out and he needed to pull it together, fast. His glance at the wall clock told him Y/N would be home in half an hour. He couldn’t face her if he didn’t succeed in finding the baby. 

_Water. I need some water._ He found his way to the bathroom again on shaky legs. He took in his appearance while he let the water run until it was cool enough to snap him out of this. His reflection showed that he very much looked just as distressed as he felt: hair disheveled from the nap and his stress-induced pulling at it, eyes glossy with tears that were dangerously close to spilling over, face pale and flushed at the same time, splotches of pink coloring his cheeks and nose. The t-shirt he wore was wrinkled from wringing it in his hands, and the hairs on his arms all stood straight up.

Nick cupped his hands under the stream from the faucet and splashed his face, then smacked it a few times, not caring about the pain of the action or the mess it made. His chest heaved and stomach was in knots as he stood frozen in front of the mirror for some time. “I have to call her,” he spoke aloud when he caught his breath.

He walked back into the bedroom as if cement blocks were tied to his legs, each step bringing him closer to his phone, but also to collapse. Taking survey of the state of the room as he walked through the doorway, he swore to himself. “How the hell am I gonna find my phone in this mess?” He asked helplessly. It could be anywhere in the house with the speed at which he conducted his search for his daughter. 

Just as he was about to break down in tears of defeat, he heard a car engine in the driveway, two doors opening and closing, then the beep of his wife’s car being locked. He sprinted down the stairs with his heart in his throat, juggling relief and despair until the front door opened and in walked Y/N, holding his sweet baby girl who cooed and eagerly reached her pudgy hands to him.

“Oh, thank _god_,” he cried, rushing forward to envelope Y/B/N in his arms. His shoulders shook as silent sobs of relief and joy washed over him, and he fell to his knees cradling her. She happily babbled ‘dada’ at first, but then she felt his melancholy and furrowed her brow, smacking his face until he pulled back and looked at her. She rested her soft little hand against his cheek and peered into his eyes, the green mirroring her own.

That simple action helped slow his racing pulse and he was able to take a steady breath for the first time in over 30 minutes. “Baby,” he sighed, exhausted. “You’re okay.”

All this time Y/N watched dumbfounded. Her gaze darted from him to the state of the living area and what she could see of the kitchen and back. “Of course, she’s okay,” she spoke after he appeared to calm down some. “Nicky… What happened? You look awful.” She knelt down and wrapped her arms around him and the baby, soothingly rubbing his back.

He looked up at her, remembering that she was in the room too. “I-I woke up and she wasn’t there. I thought something happened to her. I thought she was gone.” He croaked, feeling the panic start to well up all over again.

“Oh, baby, no,” she cooed, placing a hand on his neck. “I came home early today; I missed her too much. She looked like she had just woken up when I got home and you were still wiped out, so I decided to let you sleep and took her to the park for a little while,” she explained. “I left a note on the nightstand.”

“You did?” He sniffled and swallowed the lump in his throat. Despite his thorough inquest, he missed it.

“Yeah, I did. But I should’ve woken you. Oh god, I knew how tired you were being up with her three nights in a row, how could I expect you to be okay waking to her not being home? I am so, so sorry, love.” She squeezed him tightly and kissed his forehead.

He leaned into her, welcoming her consolation. “It’s alright. We’re all safe and here now.” He said it to convince himself more than her.

“No, it’s not. I feel awful putting you through that,” Y/N frowned, heart sinking. “I’ll make it up to you, promise. Here, come sit with her, I’ll clean up.”

Nick nodded soberly, carrying Y/B/N to the stripped couch and settling into what was left of the cushions. He accepted a sweet, apologetic kiss from his wife, then turned his attention back to his daughter, who was smiling again. “I love you so much, sweet pea,” he told her earnestly. “If you and your mother ever scare daddy like that again I’ll… I’ll…” He couldn’t think of anything, so he simply repeated his first words. “I love you.”


End file.
